Refraction

I am now half-convinced that these authors just made this citation up. I’ve looked in the journal and I can’t find it at all.

So randomly today I started reading about the poet Rilke, and I stumbled across this poem:

“Woman in Love”

That is my window. Just now
I have so softly wakened.
I thought that I would float.
How far does my life reach,
and where does the night begin

I could think that everything
was still me all around;
transparent like a crystal’s
depths, darkened, mute.

I could keep even the stars
within me; so immense
my heart seems to me; so willingly
it let him go again.

whom I began perhaps to love, perhaps to hold.
Like something strange, undreamt-of,
my fate now gazes at me.

For what, then, am I stretched out
beneath this endlessness,
exuding fragrance like a meadow,
swayed this way and that,

calling out and frightened
that someone will hear the call,
and destined to disappear
inside some other life.

Translated by Edward Snow

Now, I’m aware that this is a translation, but it’s still the first time I’ve ever seen “undreamt”… organically, shall we say. Without really looking for it.

(It’s still a lovely poem, isn’t it? Rilke wrote French poems as well as German, so I’ll have to dig those up sometime and just enjoy them.)

I’m tired and I’m a little sick of lab reports and problem sets, so here’s a bulleted list to while away some time:

• I enjoy synchronous communication greatly. It’s so much better than the silly asynchronous kind of the IM-Facebook-e-mail-phone tag variety. Especially when the latter methods are divorced from things like tone of voice and response time and body language. Yeah. (This seems a little random but I’ve come to realize over the last few years that it’s really the best way to do things. Planning dinner with friends? Phone them and ask them if they’re coming (berate them if necessary). Don’t try to do it on Facebook. That fails. MISERABLY.)
• I am almost officially a volunteer for for a certain prof’s research group. 🙂 Apparently they need to buy insurance for me. Not a bad idea for undergraduates. I also have a desk in the Chem building now! I certainly feel special *_*
• That ASUS EEE PC is looking more and more tempting every day. >_>;;

(Yes–I am procrastinating. Yes–I will pay for this later. No–I probably shouldn’t be doing this. And no–this will probably not make any sense. At this point I am just SICK of “reflecting on my writing process” in French.)

I’ve been listening to mink’s Shalom album a lot lately. I like mink a lot, but for some reason I always feel extremely guilty when I listen to her music. I think it’s because I find some of it rather formulaic and almost Celine Dion-esque.

僕は、何をするだろう？何を見るだろう？
何を聞くだろう？何を語るだろう？

And then some of it just makes me think of the 80s, and not in a good way: think heavy synthesizer and sugar-coated bubblegum hooks. I’m thinking specifically of “Automatically.”

僕は、誰に会うだろう？誰に触れるだろう？
誰を愛すだろう？誰を許すだろう？

mink’s English is not bad, although it’s not as good as either LOVE’s or Rie fu’s. Her English lyrics, though, wow–some of them are quite beautiful. Take this excerpt from the English version of “Blessing of Love”: “How can I live without the hope that we/Might touch the edge of heaven’s light”

きっと、すべて愛おしくて、すべてきらきらして
でも寂しくて、そばに居て欲しくて

I picked up a mink single and a mink album from Book Off about a month ago. I’m not super-keen on the album, although I do love the single (which also has karaoke tracks for you aspiring divas. ;D)

世界で一番奇麗な場所: あなたの側で

I feel… buoyant. 🙂 My panic was completely misplaced, and even though my nerves did get the better of me, eventually I did calm down a bit and it was fine. I may be working for an awesome prof this summer. 😀

Lab reports and problem sets are bringing me back down to earth a little bit, but I’m still feeling rather pleased.

I am currently in PANIC mode over my appointment with a potential future employer tomorrow. I’m not really sure what to expect, which no doubt is the cause of all my PANIC.

I’m currently reading about his research, and now I’m wondering–why do I even bother? All this stuff is clearly over my head, I have no relevant experience, and while it’s interesting, I can’t think of a way to say that which isn’t trite.

ARRRGH.

I just realized that I have completed 91 credits at school. I’m not exactly sure how that’s possible given that I’ve really only completed five academic semesters. It averages out to 18.2 credits a term, or ~6 courses (assuming one course = 3 credits.)

To all the Arts students out there: I’m clearly not kidding when I say I have a heavy courseload.

(Naturally, there is some explanation for this: many Chem courses are 4 credits, rather than 3, and I did take a couple of summer courses. If you take out the summer courses, it comes out to a much more reasonable 5.7 courses per term.)

What’s slightly more interesting is that I have 31 transfer credits from high school and certain summer programs, so technically I have 122 credits. If getting a degree were just about accumulating credits, I could have been out of here by now. Unfortunately I also have to fulfill something called “upper-level requirements.” Alas. That’s what happens when your transfer credits are good for nothing but elective space… and you elect to fill elective space with a French minor.

I’m back at school now after a year-long hiatus in the working world.

I’d forgotten the things about school that I like (fun profs; learning things; seeing old friends) but there are also things that I don’t miss (midterms; buying books; bureaucracy; competition).

It’ll be an interesting term, to say the least :3

I miss my former co-workers.

(Happy New Year!)

Do these two sentences mean the same thing?

1) I wonder if X isn’t better than Y.
2) I wonder if X is better than Y.

On the surface, it’s a basic kind of statement (“I am comparing X and Y; X may be better, but I’m still thinking about it”) and they seem identical. At least superficially.

I think the sentences imply different things, though. 1) is something I would say after having already chosen Y, and then re-evaluating X. 2) can be said either before or after a choice is made, but seems slightly more natural to say before.

Then again, maybe sentence 1) is not quite Standard English and I’m just making all this up.