October 19th, 2009 | Comments Off on There’s no place like home

Okay, I’ll admit it, I’m really quite homesick. Being nine hours ahead of my friends and family, and living alone don’t really help.

I dreamt last night that I was back home, but it soon became uncomfortable as I realized I’d not really done much of anything in France. At this point dream-me started panicking and really really hoping this was all a dream. In fact dream-me gave my dream-arm several good pinches–

At which point I woke up, uncomfortably ensconced in my studio but a little relieved I hadn’t sleepwalked my way to the airport.

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December 31st, 2007 | Comments Off on Protected: Résolution

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Posted in ramblings
October 5th, 2006 | Comments Off on 割れた心?

This is going to be a long, rambly thinking-out-loud post filled with self-pity and teenage angst. 😛

There’s an expression in Cantonese which I think describes my mental state very well; I only wish I knew how to write it properly. I don’t, so I’m just going to take a stab at it here: 心散. I’ve always taken this (and remember, I only know things phonetically, if that) into its component pieces: 心: heart; 散: scattered, in pieces. I’m trying to find a proper definition for it, but I understand it to mean distracted and not really giving 100% to whatever you’re doing.

I don’t know if I’m really passionate about science–I really don’t. I don’t know that I’m passionate about anything.

Sometimes I think I can salvage by BSc and become a technical writer instead; in fact, this is a notion I’ve been considering ever since I heard of the technical writing profession. But when I look on scientific writing sites, they all seem to demand a BA in English for some odd reason. No offense to all my English major friends, but I’d rather read a scientific text from a Chemistry major than an English major. Heck, maybe I’ll take a BA after I get my BSc.

Sometimes I think my situation is un-salvagable and that I am really in the wrong major–which is probably a slap in the face to all those people I scored higher than (I’m not trying to boast, but getting a Trek scholarship does ensure that you scored higher than someone somewhere.)

I wonder what I would do if I weren’t studying chemistry. Were I to stay in science, I’d probably become a biochem major. Or possibly genetics. All I know is that I need to get as far away from physics as possible. If I switched to Arts? French is the obvious choice (I have the most credits towards the program), with Linguistics and English Language not coming far behind.

I was walking around the career fair today and realized more than ever that a BSc does not mean guranteed employment any more than a BA does. Seriously. The companies weren’t really interested unless you happened to be an engineer. I know people a lot smarter than I am who are looking into accounting programs after graduation. Why? The money’s better.

On the other hand, I’m fairly used to things coming easily; it means that I don’t always try as hard as I should. Plus, I’m a procrastinator to boot.

Heavens. I’m tired.

Je veux que ça soit fini. Enfin, on n’y peut rien.

I really prefer the French expression “ça ne vaut pas la peine” instead of the English equivalent “it’s not worth it.” For an anglophone like me, “la peine” is what sticks out in that phrase, car il y a certainement des choses qui nous font mal, et je pense qu’il faut reconnaître cette peine.

Posted in ramblings
October 4th, 2006 | Comments Off on Build your own blog entry!

Don’t you love doing things yourself?

*insert emo-angsty-self-pitying blog entry here*

Actually, I suppose it’s more self-pity and less emo and angsty.

I’m so tired. It’s barely a month into school, and I’m already behind and feeling overwhelmed. Add the fact that I keep getting turned down for interviews, and you have a very unhappy Catherine. Plus, due to my insane schedule, I haven’t been able to keep up with my co-op commitments, and I’m really feeling the pressure right now.

I just want this to END.

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Posted in quotidian
February 28th, 2006 | Comments Off on Why can’t I write a coherent post these days?

I can’t seem to write coherently these days. My French lit prof pointed out that my essay seemed to be lacking some logical connections between ideas, which is true. I just didn’t have enough words to stuff everything I wanted to say in there (Only 1200, and my rushed draft was close to 1400…. gah). Next time, I’ll narrow down my topic a little more. I guess I’m a bit out of practice.

My apathy’s sinking in again. At least I don’t have another midterm for 3 weeks.

My friend also burned that Chinese serial I got into halfway through 2 years ago for me. IT IS HILARIOUS. I love that one. The male lead is forced to don a dolphin mascot suit for a good deal of the first episode. Hilarity ensues. I’m not saying the plot’s believable, or that the acting’s good, or that there’s any artistic merit to this show; but it’s escapism, that’s all.

Now, for those of you who are interested, give w-inds.’s cover of Clay Aiken’s “Perfect Day” a try. I don’t like it as much as the original, but I don’t expect much else from covers.

Posted in ramblings
October 24th, 2005 | 1 Comment »

So lately I’ve been having second thoughts about choosing a Chemistry major. Or Honours. Whatever. In any case, it’s once again the time of year that I consider running to Arts. (Read: was completely pwned in the lab.)

Ultimately, I spend waaay too much time on French. I spent several hours on my first composition, and several more on les travaux pratiques that we had to do; in fact, that one was turning around in my head so much, I dreamt about finding a passive verb :blush: (Which wasn’t there in the end. My dreams never work out.)

And for Chem I cram two days in advance.

Don’t get me wrong. Chemistry is fascinating. Absolutely fascinating. I have wonderful professors who are geniunely interested in the subject. I have TAs who, by and large, do their best to help muddled students. Everything is going in my favour, in short.

Except me.

I procrastinate writing my Chem labs until the night before. I don’t review material daily as I should if I want to keep up and maintain an A average. I get so worked up in labs that I somehow make stupid mistakes. In short: school is becoming somewhat of a chore.

And the only thing that’s keeping me going is French.

Anyway, this insipid post inspired by one of those quick online quizzes:

You Should Get a MD (Doctor of Medicine)

You’re both compassionate and brilliant – a rare combination.
You were born to be a doctor.
What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

Now, to be very honest, I’ve never wanted to be a doctor. Ever. And I wouldn’t make a very good doctor. Even when I wanted to be a psychologist, it was always in some kind of research capacity. I didn’t like the idea of being a therapist or a counsellor. Now, the impersonal face of research? That seemed fun. (Although ultimately not as much fun as blowing things up. Seriously.)

Stupid online quizzes.

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May 2nd, 2005 | Comments Off on Protected: I wish it were Reading Week again…

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