This entry is about hair. My hair, in particular. So to spare all the guys out there, the entry is “extended.” Er… yeah.
All quotes taken from {{link http://msnwomen.lhj.com/lhj/story.jhtml?storyid=/templatedata/lhj/story/data/10tipsTameThickHair_03282003.xml&catref=lcat26 here}}. Because I click those links I see after I log out of Hotmail.
Anyhoo. I have an issue with the way the article starts off. “If you’re lucky enough to have thick tresses”–only a person without thick hair would say that. I SWEAR. “Thick tresses” sound nice, but translate into unmanageability. Honestly. Have you SEEN my hair recently?
Okay, so tip 1 is to watch hair length. Check. This is why I never get a haircut (and as a result, have horribly damaged split ends. Oh the horror. Even Pantene can’t save me now. Kelly Ripa, you lied to me!)
Tip 2: Layer strategically. No comment. I may have further comments once I figure out how layers actually WORK. And how they prevent my hair from looking poofy. And if… yeah.
Tip 3: Try a bob. I thought most bobs were in that ear-to-chin range they said to avoid. *sigh* See what I meant when I noticed that this article wasn’t written by a person with thick hair?
Tip 4: Avoid thick bangs. “When cut straight across your forehead, they can look cartoonish.” Will someone please convince my mother of this fact? Please? My hair’s even more in my eyes when I have bangs. Which is why I hate bangs.
Tip 5: “Go with your hair’s natural texture.” I think that refers to “poofy.” In actual fact, they’re talking about the wave that comes with most thick hair, which er… is a good point. This means I need to buy more styling productsssss!
Tip 6: “Try a ponytail.” Whenever I try a ponytail, it looks like it’s been teased to death. Seriously. I saw a picture of a teased ponytail (because apparently some designer in Europe has deemed them to be “hip”) in the newspaper a couple of months ago, and it looked EXACTLY like what mine looks like. Without any help. And I don’t like the “teased to death” look. It reminds me of Leah Labelle on \American Idol\. And I didn’t like her all that much.
Tip 7: “Shampoo daily.” Okay, now I’m confused again. I read somewhere else that thick hair should be shampooed every other day, since it often looks better the day after shampooing, when it’s settled down a bit.
Tip 8: “Condition just the ends.” No, if I don’t condition all of my hair it ends up looking even worse than usual! (Although I suppose if I didn’t use a 2-in-1 that would allow me to experiment more. I don’t think there’s a bottle of straight shampoo in the house. Hum.)
Tip 9: “Wear a headband.” …and look like I just stepped out from an aerobics class or the 80’s. Sheesh.
Tip 10: “Don’t go too long.” I have no plans to “go long.” Only super straight hair looks good that long. And even so, there’s nothing you can do with that kind of hair, besides put it in a ponytail. Although I suppose it would give that Garnier stuff a good run for its money xD
Thus concludes the hair tips related rant. If any of the guys actually read this… you are sad.
Bobby Says: